Day 12: 16 November

Dear Coco – 

Today we did a series of land navigation courses and exercises, both during day and night time.

After we completed our night course our group had some time to wait for the others to finish.  I was finally able to find some time to meditate since the Drill Sergeants were more worried about making sure everyone got out of the woods in the dark.  The moon was so bright and full in the sky above us.  I think the beauty of the night was lost on 99% of the other people around me.  Even when I was supposed to be navigating in the dark woods, finding my way, I couldn’t help but get lost in the moon shadows across the leaves coving the forest floor . . . probably not the best thing to do when I’m being tested on my ‘new’ skills and being timed on it! Hahaha . . . Oh well, I passed.

It was just so peaceful sitting there breathing in the open while the other people sat around gossiping or singing their favorite songs together.  I think I found a quiet place inside that you would be proud of.  I had no thoughts, no worries, just pure clam as I sat there breathing under the winter moon.  All the chaos around me seemed like a distant recording of a memory that was muffled by overlaid music.  I do miss having more of these peaceful moments in my life right now.  I am grateful that I am able to find small moments of release into the calm I so desperately crave. 

It’s also interesting to watch all the Alpha type personalities striving to be noticed and number one.  I wish I could tell them that a year from now or two or five, none of this will matter.  What will matter is that you were true to yourself and were you, that you didn’t try to be anyone else.  But, I know that they are too young or immature to understand that right now.  

Anyways, I’m starting to drift away into sleep.  



P.S.  I wrote a poem today!

For the reasons of life

    we know not the outcome,

Each day turning 

     as leave fall from above.

The meaning,

     the reason,

          how we make the day all ours,

Striving and trying,

    walking away in the sun,

Moving and walking,

    rain breathing down the windows

For reason have no meaning

    and excuses flow like nectar from a tree.

We learn,

     We grow

     We make the most of time,

Circling the past

    moving the now

    trading in the bad

    reopening the new.

Packages of faith

     strew through time.

For hope, love and patience

     intertwined to make a collage

     of muted water colored light.

For the meaning

    is unknown

    the beauty revealed.

In retrospect,

    Our life is alive

    Our time forever

For the reasons

     We live.


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